How to Become the Person You Want to Be (in one simple step)

activity always follows identity

I used to be a smoker. When I decided to have children I knew I had to quit. I’d tried multiple times to quit, all unsuccessfully. Finally, I decided to invest the money and go to a hypnotherapist. After the first appointment I never smoked again, even though she said I could smoke until I came back for my follow up. Why did this work when all other attempts had failed?

Because she changed my identity.

The entire hypnosis session was built around me being a non smoker. She installed that identity into my subconscious. After that first session I believed I was a non smoker, so why would I smoke? I did not have any withdrawls, or cravings, and now 13 years later I’ve never had another cigarette.

Activity always follows identity.

As soon as I believed I was a non smoker… I didn’t smoke.

The same is true with anything you hope to do in the world. You want to be a writer? Start believing your a writer. Call yourself a writer. Tell people you’re a writer. Next thing you know… you’ll be writing.

Do you want to be a Zen Wahm? Believe you already are. Tell yourself you handle whatever comes up with equanimity and grace. Call yourself the zen wahm. The actions of a zen wahm will come from that belief.

Do you want to be a parent who doesn’t yell? Believe you already are that parent. Tell yourself you’re kind and loving to your kids. Tell yourself you can handle any situation with your kids with love and kindness. Tell yourself you’re the parent you always wanted to be. You’ll find resources and ways to not yell, even in situations you would previously have lost it.

Do you want to be a meditator? Then call yourself a daily meditator. Tell yourself and others you meditate daily. I bet you can guess what’s going to happen. ;)

I can hear the yeah, buts already. I can’t just SAY I’m ______ and it’s true.

Why not? Says who? Go ahead, try it, even if it’s to prove me wrong.

Make the decision to be the person you want to be, and claim it. Right now.

Grab a piece of paper, and write it down.

I am (a/an) _______________________.

Do it every day. For the next 30 days. Write it down, with a pen, on a piece of paper. Stick it in front of you. Because as soon as you decide you are that which you want to be… you will become it. Make sure you share how things change for you! I can’t wait to hear.


Jackie Lee Zen Wahm


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